The Ball
by Othelie
Summary: The Fuhrer has decided that it is time for the annual military spring ball, and during their search for someone to go with, romance blooms in the most peculiar places. And madness ensues... Warning; pairings of all kinds, nothing too mature, but innuendo.
1. Kain Fuery

This story is a writing excersise between a dear friend and me. We wrote one chapter each, sent it to the other, and considered it our goal to ruin all the couples the other one was trying to create. Therefore, I urge you to expect the unexpected, take nothing serious, and enjoy the read. Because of the way it was written, each chapter is pretty short, my apologies for this.

These characters and the setting is not mine, but I thank the author for making them.

**~The ball~  
**

The Fuhrer had decided that it was time for the annual military spring ball in honour of those who died during the war. This was an open event to the public, which meant that civilians could get a chance to interact with the military, to show a more humane side of the government. This also meant that every staff of the military, from the lowest ranking private to the Fuhrer himself was forced to attend. This also counted for the alchemists, and the only approved reason not to attend was if you were currently serving directly in combat, or dying.

The first one to get this message at Colonel Roy Mustang's office was oddly enough Kain Fuery, as he overheard some female secretaries gossiping about during the lunch.

"Oh dear," he thought.  
"I'll have to send my uniform to the dry-cleaner…"

-End part 1 ~Kain Fuery's POV~


	2. Jean Havoc

"Hey there, where are you going off to? Lunch is nearly over." Jean Havoc called after Fuery who was quickly leaving the mess hall in the opposite direction of the office. The smaller man nearly stumbled over his own feet as he halted, but Havoc easily caught him with one hand.

"The Chief wants us in the office in five", he said through the smoke he'd just put between his lips.

Fuery got a distressed look on his face. "So soon? I thought I might just make it to the dry-cleaners in time!"

"Dry cleaners? Now?"

"Yes, or else I won't get my uniform back in time." Fuery explained what he'd overheard from the secretaries.

"Damn, is it true, a ball!? I hate balls; I never get a date! And if I in some unexplainable way do get one, the Chief'll probably just steal away her anyway!"Havoc exclaimed, pulling a hand over his face.

"Uhm, well, if you don't get a date, we could go there together?" Havoc just stared dumbly over his hand at the smaller man next to him. "It's more fun, isn't it, to go with someone, even if it's just a coworker?"

"Well" Havoc stared critically at Fuery. He didn't exactly want to go to a ball with a male coworker. He wanted to go with a girl! But what if he didn't get a date? Then he'd have to go all alone! Wasn't it better to go with somebody, anybody, then? Havoc hesitantly made a decision.

"Okay, we can go together. But _only_ if I don't get-" He never got to finish as a pink cheeked Fuery chirped happily:

"It's a date then!! See you back in the office!" before hurrying down the hall, leaving an utterly baffled Havoc.

After a few minutes, the tall man finally found something satisfying to say: "_What the hell!?"_

-End part 2 ~Jean Havoc's POV~


	3. Riza Hawkeye

Riza was leaving the cafeteria just in time to see Fuery almost dancing down the hallway. She walked up to Havoc and was about to comment the unreasonably happy behavior of their coworker, but Havoc beat her to it, as he suddenly mumbled something that sounded a lot like: "the hell!"

Before even thinking, she lifted the stack of papers she was currently carrying high above her head, and whacked them in Havoc's head.

"_Now, what the heck did you do _that _for, Riza?! Aren't you trying to show that you have a feminine side too?"_ She quickly regained her self control, and tried to find an excuse for her seemingly pointless action.

Havoc turned around slowly, rubbing the point that was probably sore after the attack from the rather big pile of papers for Roy.

"Whaddya do that for?" Then he noticed who had committed the crime against the back of his head, and suddenly looked a little scared.

"Oh, it's you. I mean, hi, Hawkeye!"

"That's for cursing in the presence of a woman. The manners you people have sometimes!"

Havoc looked a little embarrassed, and Hawkeye wished she'd sounded less harsh.

"Well, I had a good reason though. Turns out the Fuhrer is hosting some fancy ball we have to attend. I hate that kind of things! I never get a date and now-"

"You're having problems finding a date? Guess I'll take pity on you and make you my cavalier for the night, then!"

"Really?! I mean, Fuery just-"

"It's a deal then! Pick me up at eight!"

She turned around and hurried off, just in time to hide her smile and a small blush from poor Havoc.

-End part 3 ~Riza Hawkeye's POV~


	4. King Bradley

"Ah, Colonel Mustang, there you are!" All the answer he got from the dark haired man was a court nod, but Fürer King Bradley still kept a broad smile on his face, his visible eye wrinkled up to a thin line.

"I guess you must be wondering why I have called you to my office this morning." He put in a break to allow the colonel to confirm, or deny, but still the stoic man kept silent.

"Well, since you obviously can't wait, I'll just tell you. I want you and Fullmetal as show dogs on the upcoming spring ball." 'That brought a reaction', he thought, as Mustang's eyes widened. It took a few seconds till the man came up with an answer.

"Excuse me, Sir, you want me and Fullmetal as what?" The control was back in that beautiful porcelain face, but the voice was tight.

"Show dogs. Simple as that. I want you up there with me on the podium when the festivities start, as a good example on skilled, loyal, faithful, young soldiers. You will also have to walk the room and answer any questions the civilians might have. We will of course agree on the answers on forehand. Lastly, you two will have to arrange a show that shows the more...positive…sides of what alchemy can do." The Fürer laced his fingers together and put his chin on them. The look on his subordinates face had proceeded to darken as he spoke, and the black eyes now held a fair good amount of well hidden rage. Still beautiful though.

"Is that all Sir?" he asked in a strained voice.

"Yes. I will have file shipped to your office later with details. You will have the whole state alchemist squad at your disposal, and Major Armstrong will be helping you out especially. Inform Fullmetal of this, will you?"

"Of course Sir. If that was all then I will take my leave. Excuse me." Mustang gave a small bow, before quickly exiting the room. Bradley's smile widened as he watched the younger man leave. This was going to be interesting.

-End part 4 ~King Bradley's POV~


	5. Heyman Breda

Breda was sorting through some minor paperwork, expecting the day to go on as eventless as usual. His hopes of having a normal, easy day were completely crushed though, when the door opened. Because walking through it was Riza, or should he say, another person in Riza's body?

"Hi there, Hawkeye!" He said with a careful voice, not yet sure if Riza's strange behavior was good or bad.

"Mornin, Breda! I just got to put these papers into Roy's office, and then perhaps you would allow me to challenge you in some chess?" She smiled at him. Breda almost jumped in his chair, not sure which was strangest; the fact that Riza just suggested skipping work, or the sing-song tone she'd used while saying it.

As Riza disappeared into the inner office, the door opened once again, this time revealing a seemingly paralyzed Havoc, who didn't even answer his greeting, but merely went to his desk and sat down, staring of into space.

Few seconds later the door opened again, or rather flew open as a short blonde kick-jumped his way through it, shortly followed by a two meters high suit of armor, who somehow managed to make a lot less of himself than the almost half as big teenager next to him.

"_And here I though the afternoon couldn't get more eventful! With these two around, I'll probably have to work overtime… " _Breda groaned in the back of his throat, but didn't get to greet the young boys, because the door once again flew open few seconds later.

"Ah! Fullmetal! What perfect timing! Just in time for my great announcement" Roy spoke while he was walking through the office, greeting everyone on his way.

"I just came from a meeting with the fuh- OH MY GOD!" The terrified outburst came when Roy entered his inner office.

"_And I'm guessing he just discovered his pile of papers from Riza…" _Breda thought with a dry smile.

-End part 5 ~Heymans Breda's POV~


	6. Roy Mustang

Roy froze to the spot. He couldn't believe it!

Right before him was Riza, leaning gently on his desk, while applying eye shadow with one hand, holding a mirror in the other. He even spotted a lipstick and a perfume bottle lying next to her!

The "OH MY GOD!" just sneaked up his throat before he could stop it. He just managed to quickly think that 'saying that was _so _not me!', before he was peppered with shots and had to take cover behind a couch. When he finally dared to peak out from his hiding, Riza had left the room. He sneaked up to the door leading to the outer office, and did so just in time to see Riza giving Havoc a bright smile on the way to her desk.

'Fuck' Roy thought as he spun on his heel and walked back into the room. 'Double fuck' he thought as he saw the battered couch. 'Now I'll have to get a new "Unreachable love" _and_ a new couch!'

-End part 6 ~Roy Mustangs's POV~


	7. Edward Elric

Ed stood up and started walking toward the colonel's door as soon as the bastard himself had stopped screaming. He had a sarcastic remark at the tip of his tongue, but never got to use it, as he had to throw himself in cover to avoid being shot down by Riza.

When Riza was finished and at a safe distance, Ed snuck into the inner office and noticed Roy staring at his battered couch with an unreadable expression. Without a sound, he swiftly ran up behind the older man, preparing for a surprise attack. But he got annoyed when he realized he only reached the other to the shoulder, which effectively erased the possibility of looming over the bastard, and merely poked his superior in the guts instead (which was at a much more reachable height).

"What the?!" Mustang turned around faster than lightning, which of course caused him to fall down at the ruined couch. In a desperate attempt at keeping on his feet he grabbed the closest thing, which just happened to be Edward's braid, causing him to fall on top of the older man.

They both gazed into each others eyes for a few seconds, unable to break free. Then Ed realized the compromising position he was currently in, and screamed out in a very uncharacteristically tone: "Gyah! Child molester! Get of of me!!!" And, without thinking, punched his superior in the face... With his automail arm... Hard…

-End part 7 ~Edward Elric's POV~


	8. Vato Falman

Warrant officer Vato Falman stared at the endless possibilities of seating places, and chose a chair at the far end of the long row. This was the difference between regular hospitals and military infirmaries; military ones were usually empty. Terrible waste of place and competent doctors, Falman thought.

Well, since he was alone here anyway, he might as well use the time. He had gotten an unexpected leave to accompany Major Elric and Colonel Mustang to the infirmary.

God knows how it had happened, but his boss had gotten a broken jaw and the Fullmetal one some severe burns. Nothing too serious though, considering both were able to walk fine, and didn't even notice their injuries as they had a glaring match on the way.

Anyway, Falman wasn't going to waste this opportunity of free time. He had a serious problem to think about.

The news of the spring ball had just reached him, and he knew he had to act quickly. If not, he was surely going to be confronted by that extremely persistent Sheska from records. He didn't have the heart or courage to turn her down when she asked him, and ended up going with her on every single event, slowly being bored to death by her book-talk. He knew it did not look like it, but they had only information and good memory in common, and it could get so immensely boring he almost fell asleep on his feet.

But that was going to be different this time! If he couldn't turn her down without a reason, he just had to ensure he had another date before she asked. And this time he would have to muster up the courage to finally ask _that person_. The person he'd had a distant crush on for years, since long before the Elrics had come along.

Only problem was that he didn't dare ask in person.

He pulled up a notebook and a pen from his pocket, and began on the note he'd slip onto his secret love's desk…

-End part 8 ~Vato Falman's POV~


	9. Riza Hawkeye II

Riza yawned and stretched as she slowly got up from the chair. She had a stiff neck and pains in the lower regions of her back from a very tiresome day, both emotionally and physically.

Since Mustang had hurried of to the hospital with the oldest Elric and Falman, she was to stay after everyone else and lock the office afterwards. A real pain as she really wanted to hurry home and make sure she got an hour at that cute little spa-place she sometimes went to. And she could of course never do this during working hours, because it would completely ruin her reputation.

All in all, she was in a very bad mood this particular night, and couldn't wait to leave. She turned off the lights and locked the door, then started walking down the dark and gloom corridor. All the offices were securely closed, but suddenly she noticed a gleam of light coming from underneath a door to her right.

"_Probably just someone that forgot to switch the light off..." _She sighed and started to walk again, but suddenly heard a low sob coming from inside the office. This made her turn on her heel, and as silently as possible, she opened the door and snuck inside.

The person responsible for the muffled sounds was second lieutenant Maria Ross. Hawkeye realised that Ross had red spots underneath her eyes, and was holding onto a mysteriously wet handkerchief for dear life.

Hawkeye raised an eyebrow. "Is there... Something wrong, second lieutenant?"

Ross's head jerked toward the door, and she started to shake her head slowly, but seemed to change her mind in the middle of it, and started sobbing loudly instead.

"I think…. I think Denny is cheating on me!" The poor woman seemed to have problems controlling her voice.

Hawkeye, who didn't even have any idea that the two of them were dating, asked in a soothing voice: "Now, what makes you think _that_?"

"This!" As she spoke, Ross handed her a note. It was handwritten on something that seemed like a page from a notebook, with spots from tears scattered all over it. As Hawkeye read, her eyes almost started bulging out, and she got small spots of pink on her cheeks.

"Um, I think this might was meant for someone else than sergeant Brosh, Maria… Very possibly misplaced…"

"What makes you think that!? I found it at his desk!" Ross spluttered from somewhere inside the folds of the handkerchief.

"Just a feeling I got…" Hawkeye took another look at the paper in her hands…

_Dear colleague. _

_I can't help but stare in awe at the way your unique golden lock curl when it's blowing in the wind. Your body could be the work of an artist; it's so well shaped with all those beautiful muscles. To me it seems like you're always surrounded by shimmering sparkles. I have fallen deeply for you, and my only humble wish is that you accompany me to the ball. _

_You dearest _

_Vato Falman _

-End part 9 ~Riza Hawkeye's POV~


	10. Alphonse Elric

"Hi Al! Nice to see you, it's been so long!"

Al waved a hand in front of his face to try and clear some smoke. It was practically like walking into a cloud entering the office this morning. Sometimes he was happy he didn't have to breathe.

"Good morning Havoc" he nodded at the steam engine, and then turned to the only other occupant of the room "Breda".

"Sooo, what's the cause of this visit?" Havoc presumed the position he'd had before Al had entered the room; leaned back in his chair with his eyes closed.

"Oh, I just came by to deliver this file from brother. He decided to stay in bed today."

"Ha ha" Havoc barked a laugh, "The Chief's gone today as well. Wonder why?"Al smiled along in his tin can way.

"By the way, where is Lieutenant Hawkeye?" he asked, "I actually think I have never experienced her not being in the office in the middle of a working day."

"You know, it really _is_ a rare event. Maybe she trusts us more than we thought! The moment the Chief has a day off, she's out too! Havoc smiled through his cigarette as he puffed happily with his legs on the desk and arms behind his head.

Al managed an impressive snort for a suit of armour. "She'd have to have the brain of a jellyfish to trust you to your work while she's away! Don't you find it the least odd that she's missing?"

"Well actually, I think I know where she is." Breda peeked over the impressive castle of files, paper cups and other office attire that he had made. "She left a few hours ago with second lieutenant Ross, from Armstrong's office. I don't know what they're up to, but she said something about doing some research when I asked her."

Al did something equal to raising an eyebrow, armour-style. "Are they acquainted? I didn't know."

"Neither did I, but I've seen them together several times today. And also, though it may not be linked at all, Falman's also been missing all day, and I think I saw him walking around outside Armstrong's office.

"Odd."

-End part 10 ~Alfonse Elric's POV~


End file.
